A Healthy Sense of Self

"When I ask executives how they compare to others in the area of leadership, 75 percent rank themselves in the top 25 percent," reports Manfred F.R. Kes de Vries, a professor at INSEAD in France.

If Professor de Vries' findings were a joke, they would be funny. But instead, the data serve as a warning to us all.

Self-esteem, all the rage in education circles, can be taken too far in the ranks of professionals and managers. (And certainly in education as well, but that's another story.)

All Good Things in Good Measure

A healthy belief in yourself is a necessary asset amid the intense pressures and often unreasonable expectations foist on managers in today's organizations.

But holding too high an opinion of yourself gives berth to the seed of a potentially fatal flaw.

In the face of danger, a little fear is a good thing---it keeps you focused, and helps to prevent the errors born of foolish bravado. Likewise, rather than cripple your effectiveness, a little self-doubt can actually give you a positive edge when you find yourself facing tremendous expectations or extremely difficult challenges.

When you're sure that you don't know all there is to know, you're more open to listening and learning .

When you're a little uncertain of your full capacity, you're more likely to seek the input and support of those around you.

And, paradoxically but reassuringly, when your colleagues see you as "real" and, yes, a little vulnerable, you're even more likely to inspire their confidence and trust.

The Take-Away

Recognize your imperfections (they're there). Know your limits. Seek and welcome the help of others. In so doing, others will feel better about you, and so will you.

The best leaders find ways to be their best selves---full of imperfections as well as talents and accomplishments.

To become your best self, be honest with yourself. Ask others to be honest with you. And live in accord with the truth, even if it isn't what you had idealized.

Becoming ever-better is a life's work.

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